Spastic woman

i'm sorry .

i'm sorry .

i'm sorry .

it's all my fault . i'm really sorry .

i've nothing to say except sorry . ='[

it wasnt intentionally that everything turned out this way .

it's all my fault . i should not have slacked for this event

if i didnt slack, maybe things wont turn out this way .

maybe it will still turn out this way cause i'm a piece of junk.

i'm not trying to push the blame onto anyone,

but i really didnt know . and it's my fault

because i didnt know about it .

i cried in school today
not because of sijin told me how she felt

it's because i'm afraid that i will lose the friendship with the slackers

i really broke down when ms teo says she is gonna talk to them

she made it worse .

and it's my fault again

if i didnt started questioning nicolette on how did she planned the groupings

at the back of the class,

it wouldnt have attracted ms teo's attention

even till now i'm still crying when typing this post

my friends, please dont go . =[

i really didnt know things would turn out this way

i tried my best to change everything when i got to know about it

but i still failed . and its my fault

i find myself so useless,

i dont even know that my friends dunno anything about the event

i really did my best to make changes to the situation

i really really did . ='[

but in the end i still failed.

i hate class activities .

everything seemed so fine in the morning

and within an hour, everything changed .

i've been crying non-stop after dinner

because i'm scared that the slackers will go away

i'm afraid that they will abandon our friendship

i'm afraid that they will hate me forever

i'm afraid that this will be the scar between us

it's all my fault .

it was my responsibility to find out more about class events

i was just trying to slack for once

by not doing the job of a pastoral care rep.

is this kind of retribution or something?

i guess it is .

i'm not crying because you people told me how you felt

it's because i'm afraid to lose the friendship

it really means alot to me .
i really hope to stop tearing

but i cant stop once i think about my fears

so please do not listen to anyone

who actually said it was you all who made me cry

it was me, myself being emotional
being so emotionally afraid that i will lose this friendship

sijin told me the correct thing

and she got me into my senses

i'm inconsiderate . and i admit it
i'm always eating sweets from elaine

when i only give her clorets

i always want people to accompany me to the toilet

i copy people's answers during lessons

i cant help my friends .

i cant get anything right .

i'm really sorry . ='[

i really dont wish to see you people cry

when i saw you all crying today,

i wanted to step forward and ask if you people were okay.

but i stopped after a few steps ,

i didnt have the courage to approach you people.

because it's me who was responsible for your cryings

elaine was so sweet this morning

to ask if i wasnt happy recently

and now i cant even do something for them

shihui says she dont blame me.

but it's still my fault .

ENTIRELY MY FAULT

it's 2.05 am now . and i still cant sleep

i just cant stop crying .

tears just flow when i keep thinking about how bad i've been

guess i'll be skipping co tomorrow