Spastic woman

i really skipped co today .

i spent my whole day sleeping .

but after i woke up,

i cried again .

i dreamt about what happened yesterday

and i had my fears chasing after me again

i didnt feel like talking

or going anywhere today

so i hid myself in my room and did nothing .

i blocked all my msn contact today

yes , all 177 contacts on my list.

even those i dont talk to, i still blocked them

sorry people .

but i really dont feel like talking .

i only unblocked kylie jie . i did that

just to ask her where was she after school ytd

when i was searching high and low for her,

wanting to have a conversation with her .

wanting to get a hug from her .

i hate myself from being emotional .

i'm still crying while typing this post

i feel so angry with myself

why didnt i care about this event?

i was so close in having 2r5 smiling as one

but i still failed.

i failed my job as a pastoral care rep

stop crying chuiying .

you're behaving like a psycho bitch.

i say stop crying .

Please stop squatting in your room out of the sudden

and start crying .

you are already ugly .

you look even worse when doing that.

why was i so lag ?

why did i know only get to know about everything

during the cme lesson?

why was i so slow?

why didnt i manage to change the situation after i get to know?

why .

why.

why

WHY

fuck la . why am i always that useless .

why .

why .

why .

everyone thinks that i cried yesterday

because sijin told me some harsh words.

but let me repeat myself again .

I CRIED BACAUSE I WAS SCARED OF LOSING THE SLACKERS

it wasnt her fault at all .

if anyone was to blame her for why i'm crying

i'm gonna scold you .

IT WAS ME WHO WAS AFRAID OF LOSING THEM

it was me .

it was really me.
it wasnt her fault .

or their fault .